WRT333

Scientific Journal Articles
Sample Style and Readability Analyses

Syllabus | Table of Pages | Assignment "Scientific English"

The following are responses submitted by students; they illustrate the choice of good examples and effective rewrites:

Nominalization

Original: "The absence of senescence and maintenance of long telomeres for over 250 p.d. far exceeds the typical 'Hayflick limit' of about 50 p.d. for many post-embryonic cells, which generally is attributed to the progressive shortening of telomeres."

"The telomeres of amniotic fluid-derived stem cells do not senesce even at 250 population doublings, and are maintained far past the typical 'Hayflick limit' of about 50 p.d. for many post-embryonic cells. This is generally attributed to telomeres that are progressively shortening."

—contributed by Kayla Babcock

Original: As a result there is a high prevalence of usage of complementary and alternative medicines for treatment of psychiatric disorders.

Doctors commonly use different medicines to treat psychiatric disorders.

— contributed by Jiselle Jimenez

Euphemism

Original: Discards and other benthic fauna that encounter the mobile gear and are impacted by the interaction, temporarily alter the ecosystem dynamics.

The ecosystem dynamics are altered when bycatch and benthic fauna are killed.

— contributed by Tim Krusell

Noun Cluster

Original: Significant dose dependent potentiation of pentobarbital sodium induced sleep duration with n-HF extract (200,500 mg/kt), CF extract (200, 500 mg / kg), EAF extract (200, 500 mg/kg) and WF extract (200, 500 mg/kg) were observed.

All extracts produced longer sleeping periods at concentrations of 200 and 500 mg/kg.

— contributed by Jiselle Jimenez

Original: "Of the four published determinations of the vapor pressure the slopes on a log pressure-reciprocal temperature plot obtained by Kuniga et al. and by Robert (Ref 9) were -4580 and -4632."

"The vapor pressure increases as the temperature increases. Although this relationship is not linear (directly proportional), these values can be plotted in an unusual way to form a linear graph. A linear relationship, y-mx + b, can exist, if on the y axis of the plot y=log(pressure) and on the x axis of the plot, x=1/(temperature). For example, if the pressure is 100, it would read as 2 on the y axis. If the temperature is 5 degrees Kelvin, it would read as 1/5 on the x axis on the plot. The graph would show a line heading downward. The final equation would read log (pressure) = 1/T*M + B. The M value is -4580."

—contributed by Michael Ericson

Passive Voice

Original: The spontaneous motor activity (SMA) was measured using an actophotometer.

We measured the spontaneous motor activity (SMA) with an actophotometer.

— contributed by Jiselle Jimenez