WRT333-Section 1: Scientific and Technical Writing
Agent and Action
Week 4
Sentence Patterns
Human speech evolved over the ~130,000 years that our species has existed. We can imagine that for much of our history, we talked about threats and opportunities, such as sabertooths and bears that threatened us, or how we might trap a wooley mammoth that could feed the clan for the winter. Our brains mixed pictures from our memories with grunts and sounds, allowing a symbolic (semiotic) mind to emerge. The process of rapid coding and decoding developed over thousands of years, with those who decoded expeditiously ("Onk, watch out for the mountain lion that is about to leap down on you!) gaining a survival edge. Speech that evoked a sharp image of agent (lion) and action (leap down) was easiest for us to understand. Although our world has grown more complex in the 5-6,000 years since we started writing, it is still easiest for us to understand speech (and writing) when the word symbols evoke sharp images of agents and actions.
When we talk to each other, we use a remarkably simple set of speech patterns. Our most effective (from the hearer/reader perspective) speech puts the agent and action together as subject and verb in simple sentence patterns. Five patterns make up most of our sentences:
- Subject → Verb (intransitive)
The earth...quaked. - Subject → Verb (transitive) → Direct Object
The Storm...destroyed...New Orleans. - Subject ←→ Verb (linking/state of being) ←→ Completer (noun or adjective)
The City...was...in tatters. - Subject → Verb (transitive) → Indirect Object | Direct Object
The Feds...sent...the refugees...FEMA trucks filled with ice. - Subject → Verb (transitive) → Direct Object | Completer (noun or adjective)
Everyone...saw...the situation...as the Administration's failure.
DeGeorge et al.* estimate that these patterns are used for 75 to 95% of our written sentences. Sampling a large body of writing suggests that 5-20% of sentences put a short addition before the subject, as in "Before going to war, the President presented his case to the Nation." Writers may also use a longer addition (referred to as a left branch), as in "Based on a convincing but totally false case for weapons of mass distruction, the United States invaded Iraq." The short left branch is often used for a transitional phrase which helps the reader move from the previous sentence into the current one, as "At first, the rationalizing fiction was widely believed."
Agent and Action
Human speech evolved over the ~130,000 years that our species has existed. We can imagine that for much of our history, we talked about threats and opportunities, such as sabertooths and bears that threatened us, or how we might trap a wooley mammoth that could feed the clan for the winter. Our brains mixed pictures from our memories with grunts and sounds, allowing a symbolic (semiotic) mind to emerge. The process of rapid coding and decoding developed over thousands of years, with those who decoded expeditiously ("Onk, watch out for the mountain lion that is about to leap down on you!) gaining a survival edge. Speech that evoked a sharp image of agent (lion) and action (leap down) was easiest for us to understand. Although our world has grown more complex in the 5-6,000 years since we started writing, it is still easiest for us to understand speech (and writing) when the word symbols evoke sharp images of agents and actions.
Strong subjects and verbs: Think of your goal in choosing a writing style (i.e., the way you structure sentences and select your words) to make it easiest (most expedient and efficient) for a reader to decode your writing. That is, make the mental translation from symbol to image fast. Do this by making the subject of a sentence as concrete as possible (as opposed to abstract) and as often as you can make that subject do a image-producing action. For example, in The shark attacked the swimmer, the imagery of the agent and its action is pretty vivid. Consider the alternative, in which the subject is acted upon, i.e., The swimmer was attacked by the shark. While still an engrossing scene, ask yourself what the swimmer is doing in your mind (swimming, floating, panicking, nothing?). While there is still plenty of action in the entire sentence, the swimmer isn't doing the action that is contained in the verb, and the overall image is weaker.
Linking verbs. The strength of mental imagery is further weakened with state-of-being (linking) verbs (pattern 3, above). These Is verbs (is, are, was, were, has been, had been) contain little action. We'd avoid them except that they are too important to avoid (don't try too hard!). Be aware, however, that when your writing proliferates this pattern, it begins to create a fuzz in reader's brains. You can sometimes find a more active verb (agent / action pattern) as an alternative. The lessons of the Iraq War are important to future policy, might translate into The lessons of the Iraq War tell us important things for future policy decisions.
Dummy (abstract) Subjects: When you use words like it or there as a subject, you remove a concrete agent. For example, There is an important lesson to be learned here, (what does "there" look like in your mind, and what is it doing?) might be more easily decoded if it were Americans must learn an important lesson here. You don't have to eliminate dummy subjects (they can be useful!), but be aware that stronger alternative may exist, and use them sparingly.
Passive Voice: Passive-voice sentences contain subjects that do not act, but rather are acted upon. For example, The policy decisions were subjected to analysis by the panel. The verb were subjected to is passive-voice. The subject (policy decisions) is being acted upon; i.e., it sits there passively, not doing anything. The active-voice alternative is The panel analyzed the policy decisions. We can understand both sentences, but experts tell us that the passive version takes longer for us to decode. Strings of passive-voice sentences all piled up begin to really slow down readers. Note that in the passive version, the verb is weak (what motion comes to mind when you read "were subjected to"?), and the real action in the sentence is tied up in the abstract analysis—we'll come back to this later.
To unscramble a flacid passive-voice sentence, do this: Find the most significant action in the sentence (analyze). Figure out who is doing the action (the panel). Make the actor the subject of the sentence and the action the verb! There are two payoffs here: Your reader will decode faster, and often your sentence will be shorter. Again, your goal is to be aware of passive voice and to contemplate whether there might not be more easily read (=decodeable) agent/action alternatives. Some sentences that are written in a passive voice may be useful. (Hmm... who wrote that last sentence? Do I care? Is this sentence passive? Do I want it to be?)