Confusion
on campus: spirituality questioned
By
Hallie Overstreet
Sitting in
his Browning Hall dorm room in September 2001, freshman Sam Fischer
awaited a new friend's return to accompany him for a meal at Butterfield
Dining Hall.
Fischer, a
Chariho, R.I., native, had begun feeling at home among the unfamiliar
surroundings he faced during his first weeks at the University of
Rhode Island. Watching
television and patiently waiting to eat breakfast, Fischer noticed
an unusual buzz in the hallway.
Every television on the second floor was turned on to the
news as students watched the tragedy of Sept. 11 unfold before their
eyes.
Among strangers,
old friends and new friends, Fischer felt lost in a stream of emotions. The following days brought feelings he
never had experienced.
"I never
had a religion," Fischer explains. "I was happy I didn't
have to go to church or all that stuff, but that next week after
the towers were hit, I almost felt I needed that kind of religious
connection."
Fischer says
he grew up in a family that didn't practice religion. He never thought too much about it until those weeks following
Sept. 11.
College brought
a world of choices for Fischer.
His social interests didn't include drinking alcohol, but
to him Browning Hall seemed saturated with overzealous drinkers. Joining the club volleyball team lingered in his mind while
difficult classes overwhelmed him.
In the midst
of worrying about managing his social time and education, Fischer
couldn't ignore the unexpected desire for a spiritual connection.He
felt drained emotionally and it began affecting his social life,
his school work and his everyday thoughts.
"I wasn't
really sure what to do or what was going on," Fischer says. "The best way I can explain it is
I felt like something was missing.
It was the first time I doubted myself and my surroundings."
According to
the Rev. John Soares, URI chaplain and director of the Catholic
Center, Fischer's experience of confusion at this time during his
life is completely normal, especially in light of the tragedy of
Sept. 11.
Attendance
at the Catholic Center noticeably increased after the attacks on
Sept. 11 and again recently because of the Asian tsunami. Like Fischer, campus minister Carol Maddock says the question,
"What is really important?" enters people's minds.
Both Soares
and Maddock estimated that a handful of students -- even if they
haven't experienced a disastrous event -- approach them every year
with a newfound confusion about religion
The reasons
for wanting to speak with someone about their confusion vary with
each individual. This
questioning is healthy, they say.
Students need to own their spirituality.
Maddock says
students begin asking themselves: "Why do I believe?"
and "What do I believe at this point?"
For Fischer,
the question became, "Why haven't I believed?"
The majority
of students who enter URI without a religious affiliation usually
turn to friends, the chaplains say.
Fischer, similarly, depended on friends for their religious
knowledge.
Some of Fischer's
friends had dedicated their lives to religion and others grew up
with religion but never fully embraced the church. Fischer attended a service in Hope Valley at Saint Joseph's
Catholic Church with a friend and his family.
Fischer enjoyed
the service because it gave him a comfortable place to reflect on
things happening in his life.
"I wouldn't particularly call myself religious now,"
Fischer says. "I go to the church I went to with
my friend occasionally; I find it more spiritual and a way for me
to release negative energy."
Several studies
show that people who attend a religious or spiritual gathering regularly
benefit in positive ways.
This includes feelings of hopefulness, optimism, peacefulness
and a healthy self-esteem.
Fischer now
is a senior and he says he still attends the church his friend introduced
him to freshman year. When
describing his first year at URI Fischer repeatedly says his experience
was "overwhelming" and "confusing."
"Everything
was new and I felt I had nothing sturdy to hold onto," Fischer
explains. "I think religion really gave me
the stability I needed."
The ability
and the power of choice is a major factor in the unexpected questions,
concerns and confusions toward religion in college students.The
director of the Counseling Center at URI, James Campbell, says the
abundance of choice for freshmen at college is, as Fischer put it,
overwhelming.
He describes
leaving the confines of home as a developmental process that can
be both desirable and undesirable.
For the first time, students encounter a variety of ideals
from a diverse group of individuals.
"Their beliefs and values are challenged
in the form of morality, substance use, politics and sexuality,"
Campbell says. "It's inevitable that religion would be apart
of those issues."
He explains that students in their late teens go through
developmental changes that enable them to challenge the different
issues before them. It could be in the form of rebellion or
rejection toward parents who still control their beliefs.
Students want
to define themselves differently and therefore the question of religion
gets addressed. They
attend classes where questioning is encouraged and therefore students
question the church.
Dogmatic ideas
tend to be less adequate as people become more educated and appreciate
the "gray areas" of life, Campbell explains. For example, fundamentalists who don't agree with homosexuality
create confusion for young people because they may meet a homosexual
who they like and don't agree with what that aspect of their church
tells them.
Rebellion toward parental control occurred when Russell Amoruso,
a student at the Community College of Rhode Island, began questioning
his religious beliefs. Unlike
Fischer's childhood without religion, Amoruso grew up in a Roman
Catholic household. He
attended weekly mass and was confirmed in the seventh grade.
"I think that confirmation happens at too young of an
age," Amoruso says. "I only did it because my parents
made me. I would assume
that's why a lot of people go through confirmation."
Lack of choice in his religious upbringing is one of the
factors that caused his skepticism about the Catholic Church.
Amoruso currently
views religion as a family thing. He doesn't embrace everything the church says but he still
attends mass occasionally.
This question
of, "If I don't accept everything of the Catholic faith --
is it OK?" is common, Maddock says.
She and Soares
say that people are more educated today and less fearful of asking
questions of those in authority. Simply answering their questions
with, "Because the pope says," or "Because the church
says," is no longer accepted. People want more from religion and this
questioning is encouraged.
"If people
stop asking questions of their religion," Soares says, "then
they stop growing and become stagnant." He
adds that if someone leaves college with the same religion without
questioning it, then they haven't done their job as a religious
or spiritual person.
Similarly,
Campbell says this confusion should be looked at as a process of
discernment. He explains that people become uncomfortable
when their beliefs get shaken.
He recommends
that anyone struggling with this confusion should read books on
religion, take walks where they acknowledge their feelings, keep
a journal of their thoughts and engage in constant reflections on
the questions they struggle to discern.
"Most importantly," he says, "it's important
to know that this is a process you can find answers to."
If you or anyone
you know is having similar questions or concerns, you can contact
the chaplains or
email Campbell.
Hallie
Overstreet is completing her senior year at URI and will return
to her hometown, Ocean, N.J., after graduation. She will receive a B.A. degree with a
major in journalism and a minor in English.
Before pursuing a career in education, Overstreet will spend
this summer camping across the United States.
