VALENTINE

(writer's note: I suggest using italic type for the parts of the story about Cindy and Jason.)

By Norman Jeffers
Contributor

Valentine n: a sweetheart chosen or complimented on St. Valentine’s Day.

Love vb loved; lov-ing 1: cherish 2: to feel a passion, devotion, or tenderness for.

The dictionary definition of Valentine does not mention the word love. When there is a strong bond between couples such as love, the relationship evolves and customarily couples will unite at the altar. To some couples, the ultimate Valentine.

For one West Kingston couple, that bond has united them for 40 years. For a Narragansett couple, that bond is about to be linked.

At 11 a.m. on Feb. 27, 1962, at the Church of the Ascension in Wakefield, Phyllis R. LaBelle became the bride of Alfred J. Scheibenpflug.

At 4 p.m. on Feb. 26, 2002, at St. Peters by the Sea Church in Narragansett, Cindy Wright will become the bride of Jason Holly.

Even though both wedding dates are close to Valentine’s Day, neither couple took that into consideration. In fact, both couples said they chose their dates to give family and friends a chance to cool down from Christmas and New Year’s.

Alfred and Phyllis met at North Kingstown High School, where they graduated in 1958. They knew of each other but never had dated. Alfred said Phyllis was dating one of his friends. " I didn’t date that much, she dated, I was fussy," Alfred said.

Jason and Cindy met while working at Home Depot in 1994. They started going out to lunch in 1996 and before they knew it one thing had led to another: they were dating.

Alfred recollects calling Phyllis in the summer of 1959. He said they had not seen each other since graduation. "He probably did it on a bet," Phyllis said. They dated for a few months and Alfred brought marriage up, but then dropped it. "It’s a game he plays, part of his personality," Phyllis said. She explained how Alfred would bring up a subject then drop it and wait until Phyllis brings it back up.

In November 1959 Phyllis did indeed bring the subject back up. "Sheasked me," Alfred said, referring to Phyllis popping the big question. Phyllis agreed to his recollection only after a little convincing on Alfred’s part.

Jason proposed to Cindy on New Year’s Eve 1999, at one of his favorite places, Ocean Mist, an entertainment bar in Matunuck. Jason describes it as "dark and dirty, a little hole in the wall." Jason said he likes to see the local bands play there.

"I think it was around second three (of the countdown to 1999)," he said. Jason proposed to her. Cindy said, " I have this ring for you," describing the way Jason proposed. Cindy remembers that none of her friends were there so she flashed her ring to complete strangers and told them that she was going to get married.

Both Alfred and Phyllis are 60 years old. Alfred was a commercial fisherman for 20 years; he started while he was in high school. Phyllis started a secretarial job at URI right out of high school but left after three years to raise their children. They had four boys and a girl.

" I wanted to stay ashore to see the kids," Alfred said. "I missed a lot, like the kids growing up."

Phyllis said it was difficult on the family, especially when the children were young." With five kids, fishing was a very unpredictable occupation, one day you’re rich then one day you’re poor," Alfred said, "We never complained about going to work."

When Alfred and Phyllis’s kids were old enough to start school, Phyllis

returned to her secretarial job in 1975 and works there presently. In the early 80s Alfred made an ultimate decision to leave commercial fishing. He is currently a heavy machine operator in the construction business.

Jason is 30 years old and Cindy is 27. Coincidently, Jason also began a career as a commercial fisherman directly out of high school. Jason made a choice to give it up for Coral, a seven-year-old redhead, his daughter from a previous marriage. Jason said he did not want to miss out on her childhood.

In 1949 he started pushing carriages at Home Depot in Warwick and now has worked his way up to the shipping and receiving department. Cindy started working at Home Depot six months after Jason. She works as a computer technician.

" We had our problems," Alfred said referring to their marriage. Alfred and Phyllis said like most couples they quarreled. So far they have made it 40 years, and when asked how they accomplished this milestone, both said one after the other: "With a little toleration."

Phyllis admitted she worries a lot. " I always thought when a child turns 18 you stop worrying… you don’t." Their children’s ages range from 28 to 37.

Alfred mentions the heartache of raising five kids. Phyllis said her kids made her life worth living. One of their children died, which Phyllis and Alfred don’t like to talk about.

Alfred mentioned how it is difficult to fall asleep until you hear the engine of a car pulling up to the driveway. He said the scariest thing is receiving a phone call late at night.

" We had our problems," Jason said referring to the beginning stages of their relationship. Cindy said she felt uneasy about going into a relationship with someone who already has a child. Jason said Cindy and Coral are the key people in his life.

Alfred and Phyllis make their home in West Kingston. They have been living in their country-style house for 34 years. "We lived in a little house when we first got married," Phyllis said. Alfred said Phyllis and he bought a bigger house with more land so the kids could run around the yard.

Phyllis mentions that their house was the center of the neighborhood. Their children’s friends would come over to play and eat, and Phyllis said she enjoyed being the neighborhood mom.

Jason and Cindy are renting a small cream-colored house from Jason’s mom in the Harbor Island section of Narragansett. The house is outfitted with a lobster- shaped welcome plaque and a Winnie the Pooh Valentine’s Day flag in the front. Jason spent his teen years in the house. He said his mom is helping out and giving them a good deal on rent.

Cindy’s father is also lending them a hand by paying for 95 percent of the wedding, but Cindy and Jason agree that it is tough to come up with the remaining 5 percent.

Besides their three grandchildren, Alfred and Phyllis make time for their hobbies. Phyllis said she enjoys reading fiction and singing around the house. Alfred’s passion is making maple syrup. Friends got him hooked five years ago.

Alfred has his own sugar shack, called Fairgrounds Sugarhouse, in his back yard. The walls are chock-full of antique tools. Small glimpses of the wooden walls can be seen between each tool. Alfred also has 50 to 60 antique maple syrup cans crammed on four shelves.

Alfred sells his syrup by an honor system. Outside the shack are shelves of syrup and an old coffee can with money in it so customers can make change for themselves.

Alfred and Phyllis periodically take drives to New Hampshire and Cape Cod to hunt for antiques. Alfred said he searches for cans while Phyllis relaxes in the car with a book. They also purchased bicycles last year and they ride them together on bike paths.

The Fairgrounds Sugarhouse is stacked with extensive maple syrup machinery. Alfred said February is tapping season, which usually lasts five weeks. In those five weeks Alfred and Phyllis collect the syrup from the aluminum buckets that hang from their trees. In those five weeks Alfred will spend up to four hours a night in the shack boiling the maple syrup to evaporate the water. This whole process is done by log fire. Phyllis will keep him company each night for an hour or so.

In 40 years, Jason will be 70 years old and Cindy 67. When asked how they see themselves in the future Jason said he hopes to own a larger home. "I’ll be crying if I ever have to move away from down here," Jason said referring to the South County area.

Jason dreams of owning a lobster boat and to fish as a hobby. Jason laughs and said to Cindy, "I’ll dock the boat at Ocean Mist and drop you off," Jason then said he would go lobster hunting.

"We will at least have one child," Cindy said referring to their future. Cindy hopes to be retired in 40 years. She said she would take care of her grandkids. Jason said Cindy could spoil their grandkids with candy and give them back to Coral with chocolate all of their faces.

Alfred and Phyllis are celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary by going to the Florida Keys for a week. "It will be the first time by ourselves for that long of a time," Phyllis said. Alfred said they just want to relax. "If we don’t do anything…then who cares."

Jason and Cindy are planning a honeymoon to Cozumel, Mexico. Jason is looking forward to the warm weather.

This Valentine’s Day Alfred and Phyllis will keep things simple; they likely will wake up and wish each other a Happy Valentine’s Day.

Jason and Cindy said their plans are kept low- key because their wedding is coming up.

Alfred and Phyllis n: a passionate, devoted and tender couple who traveled zero to 40 in 40 loving years.

Jason and Cindy n: a passionate, devoted and tender couple who will embark on a long loving journey.

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