Cooperative Extension Fact Sheets

Early Childhood Educators  #1
 

Handling Toddler Conflicts

Certain skills are necessary for getting along with other people. They are;

1.     The ability to se the other person's point of view; understand how they feel, what they want and need and correctly read their intentions.

2.     The ability to communicate clearly to let others know what you need, want and think.

3.     The ability to predict how others are likely to react to your own behavior.

4.     The ability to understand and control your own emotions and behaviors.

5.     The ability to think of many different solutions to problems that arise in dealing with others.

Anyone who has ever known a toddler well knows that toddlers have not developed any of these skills yet, so conflicts are inevitable when two or more toddlers occupy the same space for any length of time.

Some ways that adults can help toddlers deal with conflicts:

1.     Structure the environment to prevent conflicts from occurring in the first place.

·       Provide multiples of popular toys.

·       Divide toys between children before they begin to play.

·       Limit the number of children playing in one area.

·       Make sure toddlers have plenty of space.

·       Make the rules clear.

2.     Consider the following when conflicts do occur:

·       Deal first with the strong emotions involved.  Assure the children that you are there to help them solve the problem, and you understand why they are upset.  State your knowledge of the situation from both points of view.  This will help them begin to learn about cause and effect.

·       After the children are calm, offer information that will help them understand what happened and why.

·       Help the children solve the problem.  Show them how to share in such a way that each child's needs are met.  It is critical that the suggested solution recognizes both children's needs.  Punishment will not teach them problem solving skills.

·       Give children some words to use for the next time conflict arises.   Be sure that the words are within their language capabilities.

·       Encourage the children to come and get you when they have a problem they cannot solve.  Emphasize that this is different from "tattling".

·       Remind them of the rules(regarding hitting, taking toys from each other, etc.).

·       Be consistent!