When to leave a child home alone is a difficult decision for most parents.

POINTS TO CONSIDER

l. How Mature is My Child?

Generally speaking, many ten-year olds are ready to handle being alone for short periods of time. Age alone, however, is not a reliable guide. A determination that your child is mature enough to be left alone for an hour or two doesn't mean that she is ready to be left in charge of a younger sibling or neighbor.

2. How Safe and Familiar is My Neighborhood?

If a neighbor is not available, reliable, and familiar to your child, you may want to be more cautious about leaving a child unsupervised.

3. Have I Talked With My Child About Strangers?

A stranger who approaches a child for any reason should always be regarded with suspicion. Yet there are times when the best thing your child can do is to approach a stranger - when he is lost in the shopping mall, for example. Explain to your child that an adult with a genuine problem would never ask a child for help - he would ask another adult instead.

PREPARING YOURSELF AND YOUR CHILD

Step l. Establish Clear Rules and Routines

• Children have an easier time following rules if they are specific.
• Make a schedule of activities, and post it on the refrigerator. Be specific.
• Post a list of important telephone numbers next to your child's schedule. Make sure your child knows how and when to call 911. Other numbers should include:
• Mom at work
• Fire
• Dad at work
• Police
• Neighbor
• Poison Control
• Relative
• Doctor

Step 2. Review Safety Rules

Teach a few basic rules and again, be specific. If the doorbell rings:

• Always keep the door locked.
• If someone comes to the door, ask, "Who is it?" through a closed, locked door or look through a peephole.
• Do not tell the person you are home alone. Say: "My mom can't come to the door right now. May I give her a message?"
• If a stranger knocks on the door and says: "I must use your telephone; it's an emergency", send the stranger to a neighbor's house or place of business.

If an unknown person calls on the telephone:

• Do not tell the person you are home alone. Say, "My mom can't come to the phone right now. May I take a message and have her call you back?"
• Be polite, but do not offer too much information.

If the door or window is open when the child arrives home:

• Do not go into the house or apartment.
• Go to a neighbor's house or corner store and call your parent or the police for help.

If a fire breaks out:

• Leave the house or apartment right away. Do not stop to take toys, clothes, or even pets with you.
• If you live in an apartment with an elevator, do not use it. Use the stairs instead.
• Call the fire department from a neighbor's house or other safe place.
• Call your parents after you are safely out of danger.

Step 3. Role Play Emergency Situation

Make up some hypothetical emergencies, write them on file cards and put them in a jar. Ask your child to draw a card and act out or explain his response. With your child, develop strategies for what to do if you're late. Practice from time to time by deliberately being late to give your child a chance to show whether he can remember the ideas.

Step 4. Help Your Child Feel Connected To You

Let children know what to expect when they call you at work. If your child has not yet visited your workplace, arrange for the child to do so. Leave a special message or snack surprise to let your child know they are in your thoughts when you are away from home.

Step 5. Begin With Short Intervals of Absence

Run an errand or visit a neighbor the first few times. Gradually increase the frequency and predictability of your absences. But, remember that no child under the age of l5 should be left alone for extended periods of time, particularly at night

-Submitted by Marilyn Martin

University of Rhode Island, United States Department of Agriculture, and local governments cooperating, Cooperative Extension in Rhode Island prohibits discrimination in all its programs and activities on the basis of race, color, national origin, gender, religion, age, disability, political beliefs, sexual orientation, and marital or family status.

If you are interested in more information please call 401.277.5255.