Learning to make friends is one of the most significant tasks of early social development. Generally, a child begins this process in earnest during the second year of life. A two-year old learns that there are others who say "me" and "mine". It is during the preschool years that children develop social skills necessary to establish and maintain friendships.

Between the ages of three and five, children are in the process of becoming socially responsible human beings, learning how to live with themselves, their family, their peers, and ultimately, their community.

HOW CAN PARENTS BEST GUIDE THE SOCIAL DEVELOPMENT OF THEIR YOUNG CHILDREN?

• One of the most important things a parent can do is help a child learn how to approach other children, how to make contact.

• Consider yourself a social model for your child. The ways you relate to your own friends - warmly, responsibly, and reciprocally - will prompt the development of such values in your children.

• Encourage your child to smile and make eye contact with peers.

• Provide opportunities for your child to interact with peers in a safe and appropriate environment.

• Some situations and needs of individual children may call for particular strategies.
• If you think your child is having a difficult time making friends because she is lacking in social skills, consider arranging special play activities with socially competent playmates - usually these are slightly older children.
• Planning special play sessions with a younger child may help a socially isolated child. Giving him an opportunity to play the "big guy" with a younger child may give his self-esteem a needed boost.
• All children experience difficulty in resolving conflict, some more than others. An adult can encourage the children involved to voice their perspectives, generate possible solutions, and jointly decide on a mutually acceptable course of action.

• Try to stay out of your child's way when they are entertaining a friend at home. Children need opportunities away from adults to negotiate conflict and manage the give and take of friendship.

• Avoid labeling or allowing other people to label your child as "shy", "bossy", or "hard to get along with".

• Acknowledge and encourage a child's positive efforts to get along with others.

University of Rhode Island, United States Department of Agriculture, and local governments cooperating, Cooperative Extension in Rhode Island prohibits discrimination in all its programs and activities on the basis of race, color, national origin, gender, religion, age, disability, political beliefs, sexual orientation, and marital or family status.

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