Ignoring Misbehavior

This is a good way to deal with fighting between siblings and misbehavior that is aimed at getting attention. Children do need attention. Give the child attention at other times - especially when they are behaving well. Children who are not getting enough positive attention will settle for negative attention (yelling or spanking) brought on by misbehavior.

Encouragement

Many parents spend a lot of time correcting bad behavior. When children are behaving well, they deserve parental attention and appreciation. They will learn that good behavior is a way to be noticed.

Time-outs (not recommended by NAEYC)

A time out may be used to separate fighting children or calm an over excited child. The parent calmly explains to the child that they must sit quietly for five minutes. Time-outs give children time to simmer down, think about their behavior, and realize that a parent will not allow such behavior to continue.

Consequences

Allowing children to experience the consequences of their behavior can be more meaningful than any action a parent could take. A child who experiences unpleasant consequences of behavior will not likely to act that way again. Consequences may be natural-- a child who refuses to eat may get hungry before the next meal or logical - a child who rides a bike in the street will not be allowed to use the bike for a period of time. Logical consequences are used when the natural consequence (being hit by a car while riding a bike in the street) would compromise the child's health or safety. Sometimes it is difficult for a parent to allow a child to experience consequences. A child who is acting bossy may spend a lonely day after playmates decide to leave, but it is important to remember that the child is learning.

Using Positives

Tell children what you want them to do rather than what you do not want them to do. Changing "Don'ts" to "Do's" takes practice but it is worth the effort. "Do's" give good ideas rather than bad ones and are easier to understand.

Giving Reasons

Explaining the reasons for a rule helps children understand and accept the rule.

Diverting Attention

This works well for infants and toddlers because they are easily distracted. Diverting attention from an activity you disapprove of by substituting another plaything. Or lead the child to another activity to avoid meaningless struggle with a child who is too young to understand and learn from other methods.

Giving Choices

When children are allowed to make small choices (an apple or raisins for snack, a song or a story before bed), they will be prepared to make more important decisions in the future.

Limits

Limits tell a child what is expected. Too many rules and demands may overwhelm a young child, but setting a few limits on important issues help to reduce conflict and the need for a parent to repeat. Limits are most effective when they: match a child's ability; are expressed in clear, positive terms; are consistently enforced; and are based on reasons the child understands. Example: Your child can no longer sleep at nap time but becomes overtired by the end of the day. You insist that he/she spend an hour doing quiet activities after lunch.

Humor

Children respond well to humor. If is a good way to break the tension or avoid a struggle. Your child has left his/her jacket outside. You say, " I see a lost jacket out in the yard. I hope someone helps that poor jacket find it's way home.

Warnings

Letting a child know in advance what to expect reduces resistance.

Change the Setting

You structure your child's environment so that certain misbehavior are prevented.

Redirected Behavior

You move your child away from the behavior you do not like by suggesting an alternative, acceptable behavior.

Role Model

You practice the behavior you would like your child to adopt.

Planning Ahead

You are prepared so that problem behavior is avoided.

Problem Solving

You talk with your child about why he is behaving in a certain way, why the behavior is unacceptable, and how you might work together to change the behavior.

USING NATURAL AND LOGICAL CONSEQUENCES AS A FORM OF DISCIPLINE

• Natural and Logical consequences give children a chance to make decisions and be responsible.

• Children need to be allowed to do things (unless they will hurt themselves).

• Kids need to do things themselves.

• Learning responsibility takes time.

• View the child as a capable person - don't rescue.

• Natural consequences are those that happen naturally.

• Logical consequences are those that the parent gives in place of natural consequences because natural consequences are too dangerous.

• Parents should be firm and kind when using consequences.

• Steps for using consequences:
• Provide choices; accept child's decision
• Be friendly & kind when using - even your voice.
• Give child a chance to try again.
• If misbehavior recurs, extend the time between consequence and when the child tries again.

• Parents must be patient and willing to listen. They need to encourage the child. They must be committed to the idea; it takes time for natural and logical consequences to work.

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