UNIVERSITY OF RHODE ISLAND COOPERATIVE EXTENSION FACT
SHEETS
PARENTING TIP- - # 4
SURVIVING TEMPER TANTRUMS
Limited understanding and limited verbal ability + frustration = tantrums
- Young children are capable of feeling anger but unable to understand
what is really happening. This, plus limited verbal ability and a dose of
frustration, and a child's behavior is out of control. They need an adult
to help them gain control.
- Parent should first work toward preventing the child from hurting
themselves or others.
- Don't give in...try to remain calm... don't try to reason with the
child until the child has calmed down.
- When possible try to ignore the tantrum.
- Pick up the child calmly; quietly let the child know that you are not
pleased with the behavior, and put the child in his/her room, telling the
child they must stay there until they feel better.
- If it is unsafe or you can't remove yourself from the situation, tell
the child you will stay there with them until they feel better. Then
attempt to mentally remove yourself from the situation.
- Remain calm, this is easier said than done, shaking, spanking or
screaming at the child brings the parent down to the child's level.
- Don't try to reason with a child having a tantrum.
- After the tantrum has subsided offer comfort.
In public focus on the child's needs, not stranger's opinions.
- Tantrums can not be prevented, all children experience this stage and
must pass through this stage in order to learn how to handle their
emotions.
- Learn to anticipate tantrums and try to head them off. For example: if
you know dinner is going to be late, offer the child a snack; if the child
has had an exciting afternoon, a bath before supper may relax them; if a
child has difficulty changing activities, provide a warning and mention the
appeal of what comes next -- "Let's pick out a book to read" appeals than
let's get ready for bed now.
- If the child has tested your patience most of the day, try to limit
negative responses to those situations that are the most important.
- Submitted by Marilyn Martin
University of Rhode Island, United States Department of Agriculture, and
local governments cooperating, Cooperative Extension in Rhode Island prohibits
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